The First Woman President:
Welcome to Trump’s Second Term of Chaos
Donald Trump took office two days ago, and my stomach has been in knots ever since. I didn’t watch the ceremony live—because honestly, that’s far more of the orange menace at one time than I can handle—but I’ve subjected myself to clips, transcripts, and articles since. Let’s skip the platitudes about how “we’ll get through this” because, frankly, sugarcoating this moment would be an insult to your intelligence.
Yes, we’ve endured a Trump presidency before—except for the hundreds of thousands who didn’t survive his mishandling of a global pandemic. But this Trump? This is not the same Trump. This is an angrier, less tethered-to-reality, “watch-me-burn-it-all-down” version of Trump. And spoiler alert: If you thought the first round was bad, buckle up, because this will be worse.
Inauguration Day: A Perfect Metaphor for Trump’s America
Let’s start with the ceremony itself, which was moved indoors. Sure, it was cold—but let’s not pretend it hasn’t been cold on inauguration day before. The last time it was moved indoors was Reagan’s second term in 1985. But the result of this decision? Hilarious.
Trump’s die-hard supporters—many of whom spent good money traveling to D.C. and booking hotel rooms—were left shivering outside, watching the event on jumbo screens. You know who didn’t have to brave the cold? The millionaire and billionaire tech bros bankrolling Trump’s campaign. Inside the cozy Rotunda, they enjoyed the warm, VIP treatment while the people who handed Trump his second term were literally left out in the cold. If that’s not a metaphor for Trump’s economic policies, I don’t know what is.
Also in attendance were all the living presidents and their spouses, minus Michelle Obama (hashtag #MichelleForPresident). I get why they felt the pressure to attend—tradition, continuity, yada yada—but let’s stop pretending that this is just another administration. If Democrats are going to call Trump an existential threat to democracy (which he is), then showing up and playing nice at his swearing-in sends exactly the wrong message.
Executive Orders: Trump Wastes No Time
In just two days, Trump has unleashed a tsunami of executive orders. And for anyone who thought he’d “pivot” and become more presidential this term—first, bless your heart, and second, you could not have been more wrong. Let’s go over some of the greatest hits so far:
1. The End of Birthright Citizenship
Trump issued an executive order instructing agencies to deny citizenship to children born in the U.S. if their parents are undocumented. Let’s be clear: Birthright citizenship isn’t some obscure policy—it’s the literal 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. The language is crystal clear:
"All persons born or naturalized in the United States...are citizens of the United States."
By trying to nullify this via executive order, Trump has essentially declared himself above the Constitution. If you’re not terrified yet, you should be.
2. A Fake “National Energy Emergency”
Trump declared a “national energy emergency” and promptly withdrew from the Paris Climate Accords (again), paused offshore wind projects, and rolled back protections for Alaskan coastlines. Here’s the kicker: There is no energy emergency. Under Biden, domestic oil production hit an all-time high, and gas prices fell thanks to market corrections (not policy miracles). The only “emergency” here is Trump’s obsession with appeasing Big Oil while ignoring the climate crisis.
3. The Transgender Erasure Order
Trump signed an order declaring there are only two sexes—immutable and determined at conception. First of all, this conflates sex and gender, which even a high school biology student could tell you are different. Second, intersex people exist, as do a variety of chromosomal combinations beyond XX and XY. And here’s where it gets laughable: By defining “women” as “a person belonging, at conception, to the sex that produces the large reproductive cell,” he accidentally declared all humans female—because, scientifically speaking, we all start with the same basic structures in utero before the Y chromosome kicks in around week six. Congrats, Mr. Trump, you just made yourself the first woman president!
4. Pardons for January 6th Insurrectionists
Trump pardoned nearly all the January 6th rioters, including those who attacked police officers. Even law enforcement unions, usually staunch Trump allies, are furious. But hey, at least the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers are happy. What could go wrong?
The Next Four Years: Stay Vigilant
All jokes aside, the next four years are going to be dangerous. Trump has already shown he views the Constitution as optional, science as an inconvenience, and his supporters as disposable. If we’re going to survive this, we need to stay engaged, call out the cruelty, and hold our leaders accountable—including Democrats who normalize this administration by treating it as business as usual.
In 2026, we’ll have a chance to put guardrails back in place by flipping Congress. It won’t undo all the damage, but it’s a start. Until then, remember: Patriotism isn’t about loyalty to a leader. It’s about defending the principles that make this country worth fighting for. Stay loud. Stay vigilant. And for the love of all that’s good, stay angry.